for some reason, im just feeling so down today.
i mean, earlier, i was feeling a bittersweet happiness - sweet in the election of our first black president, but bitter in that i spent that time alone - or with just me and the baby.
i feel so alone.
today was trying - the kids come to school with such mis-informed thoughts about the world, and as a teacher, i take it to be my job not to change their minds, but to help them think critically about themselves and their worlds. that's not an easy task - and it just drains me.
i want to come home and just fall in the arms of my love. but that's not how we are - or how we have been.
i come home and normally just fall out on the couch instead.
this just isn't what i imagined Love to be.
but i am growing. i acknowledge the feelings, the emotions, and i keep moving. i have things to do to make myself a better person. to get to where i want to be for myself, and where i think i need to be for my baby.
i just wish i didn't feel like i was doing it alone.
i just want a backrub, a hug, and some support the way like i always imagined it to be. perhaps i am asking for too much.
