it's been awhile since i've written.
2009 has been an... interesting year.
i realize i have a flair for the dramatic, although, personally, i don't think it's all that "dramatical". it's just life. but i've been afraid to write because of what (or how) things may come out. i realize i have a tendencey to write only when the pendulum swings low, and things feel overwhelming, but when life is good, i am MIA on these pages. i should work on that. but will i?
being a mommy is interesting - yes, i am a mommy. didn't announce it as much because, well, as i have said, things have been challenging this year. i became a mommy unexpectantly, went through some trials-by-fire, and here i am, still standing. well, actually sitting in a dark room wrtiting to you as my significant other lays on the bed two feet in space away but light years from my heart. we sit, not talking, family guy in the background, both of us using technology to fill the various voids that now existed where words, laughter and love once lived. hmmm.
2009 has been an interesting year.
but i read that this is all normal - that its the hormones. or the lack of sleep. or the life transition - they all have a tendency to do that, huh? puberty. adolescence. teen to young adult. young adult to adult. girlfriend to lover. - well, anyways.
what really are you suppose to do with this time, anyway? relfect over the year? make quixotic dreams about the next? vow to do __________ better? finally ________? well, i do know this - i am thankful for what i have, still upset about the shit that pissed me off, overwhelmedly happy (in every since of both words) at being a mommy, and hoping to do it all better next year. and the next. and the next.
