pulling the cards tighter / confessions

i just got this feeling recently - and i've been listening to my feelings and intuition a lot - that i should pull my cards in just a little tighter. make sure my ass (and the collective asses of those i care about) are covered. i don't know what this is....maybe its just the anxiety in my gut from school about to start and what not, but it just seems like something massive is about to happen, and i don't want to be left standing high and dry in the cold like damn...

so anyways, realized some things about myself recently:
1. i can be very self righteous and slightly snobby - yep. all that education got me thinking i know some things, and while i am smart, i don't know it all. sometimes, its just better to be quiet and listen. you know, nod and smile, not smirk, but smile.

2. i am quite selfish - i want what i want it when i want it iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii - yea, i've used that pronoun a lot lately. count how many times a day you use it - i bet ( <- see!) you will surprise yourself.

3. i don't listen very well - or maybe i do, i just have some memory loss issues. or maybe, i just don't care as much as i think i do which is why i don't remember some things people say to me.
(hmm)

4. i'm quite OCD - EVERYTHING must be clean. ALL THE TIME. i had a dream last night i walked into an apartment with roaches everywhere and mice and it was just so disgusting i think i threw up a little in the back of my mouth.

5. i like list - its my ocd playing out again.

;-)

t