that little voice in the back of your head is a funny thing. the moment you begin to listen to it, your life begins to change. things that could have gotten you in trouble, you begin to ignore. you begin to see growth - physical, mental, spiritual - and positivity just re-affirms itself. the voice louder and develops new facets...
1. it can become belligerent when you don't listen.
2. other effects - such as severe hangovers after a night when you knew you shouldn't be drinking - are all blamed on the voice.
3. it massages your self-esteem - when you do something right, and you know its right, you start needing less and less recognition and become increasingly happy that you can be content within yourself.
4. people start to realize that you have changed, and that you are more and more sincere. this voice begins to reveal itself.
= its just been you. all along.
it hasn't been so much of finding myself as really realizing that i have always been here. i have been looking elsewhere, out-where, for so long, that when i finally just stop. and look back, there i am. i am beginning to settle in-to myself, and i realized that i am pretty comfortable. this is a great feeling. to feel better than okay with the choices i am making. to know what i need to do, and that it will all manifest in good time. to be able to slow down. to have increasing confidence in my capacities as a rational human being. to no longer be embarrassed when i make a mistake. to realize that i already have all the love i need (im not all the way here yet, but its dawning..)
just to finally. exhale. no need to sigh anymore.
i almost feel smug - like yeah, i am right. i am okay. i wasn't trippin. i did make the right decision. that doesn't bother me. i won't miss you, but its okay if i miss some parts of you. i do love you even though i can't be with you. no, i dont have to name names cause i've already made my peace.
God, this feels good.
im finally breathing on my own.
God. this feels good.
No comments:
Post a Comment
thoughts? pleas share: