1. another conversation. another request for state/local/federal aid. more 'maybe's. more pep talks to self in the car to "shake it off, t." "have faith, t"
well.
my soul fucking hurts, God.
and don't tell me it could be worse, because i know it could be worse. I can imagine even how it could be a little worse, and i am afraid of the unimaginable. i get it.
but.
this.
shit.
hurts.
God.
2. "there isn't a lesson to learn from this... i've been in real estate for years, t, and this isn't a lesson - this is a fluke. this shouldn't have happen. and i keep asking you about the progression because as your real estate agent, I'M still trying to learn something! Have you learned anything yet?"
"no"
"me either."
thank you; i needed that validation.
smile.
3. m and i seem to still be connected - i'm trying to be up, he's feeling that i'm down. and stays connected to me ALL evening - literally. he ate dinner holding me. watched thomas laying on my chest. sat next to the hooded dryer as i deep-conditioned my hair. he's asleep in my bed.
4. i see this commercial - yay for laughing. feeling a little better.
5. he found some job leads in cleveland.
.
